I am still getting challenges together and I am almost done with one of my only challenges which I will be posting in a separate post after this one. I started writing this because I always said this to myself and to my better half. I then thought maybe a lot of women or men out there that this pertains too. So I hope this will help you all out.
I used to feel that way. Wondering how the heck to get my family and friends to support me in my business and my goals. I felt like I was all alone. Struggling to figure things out. Without support. Wishing I had someone to ask for guidance on a tough problem or recommendations on the best product/service based on my goals. So let's talk about how to get the support you need to succeed. Because it's actually a completely solvable challenge!
1. Define what you need to feel supported.
When you tell your spouse, partner, parents, or children you need their support, do they understand what it is you’re asking for? Support can mean different things depending on who’s asking, what they’re dealing with and who they need support from. From my children I need their cooperation in allowing me focused blocks of time to work, staying a little bit quieter when I’ve got an important phone call, and not deciding to do something crazy decorate each other with Sharpie markers during either of those times. That’s not the kind of support I need from a partner or friend (okay, so I’ve got one or two super creative friends who I’d not put past decorating each other with marker but that’s their decision). For others, support might mean completely quiet, uninterrupted work time and no coffee or meals.
If you don’t communicate what your needs are to feel supported, those around you may think they’re supporting you because they’re doing what they need as support instead of what you need. Feeling supported might just mean you need someone important in your life to take 10 minutes and let you share with them the challenges and successes from your day. Or it might mean you need 10 minutes of total solitude to process your day. Take a few minutes to write out just what you DO need from each person in your life who you need support from.
2. Have a real conversation.
Based on your notes, make time to have an open, honest conversation with those in your life who you need support from. Approach the conversation by sharing that you appreciate their love and support, and that you want to make it easier for them to support you the way you need.
Don’t focus on what they aren’t doing to support you currently or why you’re frustrated. Just share what you need and give them the opportunity to provide it for you. Consider what’s in it for the person you’re asking for support from. If you reach your goals with their support, what’s the ultimate outcome? Those around you need to know what you need to feel supported you, and why it benefits them.
3. Evaluate, negotiate, and adapt.
Next, take time to step back and evaluate how things are working after you’ve been clear about what you need. Are you feeling supported? If so, acknowledge it and thank those making changes to support you, so they know how much you appreciate it. If not, look at why and bring them back to a conversation to negotiate and figure out workable solutions. Or adapt by looking for alternatives–is there someone else who can provide the support you need or a way to modify the situation so a different type of support would be helpful?
There are many ways to find support through peer groups online, masterminds or coaching programs, and more. Reach out and connect with the people and groups you need.
The Key is to Take Responsibility and Take Charge
The best way to feel supported is to take responsibility for yourself and take charge. You can create the environment you need to succeed with focus, patience, and intentional action!
Well I hope you all liked the first post and can help you in one way or the other. If you have any other ideas I would love to hear them.
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